The Devil's Toilet!

I was going to wait and write this tomorrow but if I can keep even one person from spending their hard earned dough on this fraud of a movie, well I’ve done my good deed for the week. The Devil’s Tomb is the story of an “elite” group of soldiers sent on a rescue mission in some unknown dessert. They soon find out that the mission isn’t really what it’s all cracked up to be, more like a search and destroy in an ancient tomb. But with the Nephilim, you know, the offspring of some hard up fallen angels and human ladies. This is where it gets good. Actually, wait a minute this is where I got duped into purchasing this DVD. Yes, I was a bit over ambitious and in need of some good demonic cinema. I mean come on, the title is “The Devil’s Tomb.” And it stars Cuba Gooding Jr., Ron Perlman, and even Ray Winstone for cripe’s sake. Boy, did I whiff on this one.

So Cuba and his buddies head on down into the tomb where they encounter scientists and priests possessed by the Nephilim. The Nephilim are trying to get to the surface so the elite soldiers attempt to eliminate them. Doesn’t work out too good because these possessed things like to vomit black stuff in your mouth and give you boils and basically turn you to the dark side. And this is about all I could get out of the story, the plot was so convoluted I wonder how these actors were convinced to do the movie. Oh yeah, it was directed by Jason Connery. Maybe Bond, James Bond pulled some strings for junior on this one. I almost switched it off because the acting was horrendous as well. I’d need an extra set of thumbs to properly rate this disaster. Don’t make the same mistake I did.

Watch the trailer here if you still feel the need.