If there’s one thing I’ve had way too much experience with, it’s dreams, and not so pleasant ones. For as long as I can remember I’ve been a very vivid dreamer and even on rare occasions have become fully lucid. But when the dreams have been bad, they’ve been really bad. We’re talking full-on someone-wake-me-up-before-I-crap-myself-to-death sleep paralysis, aka Old Hag Syndrome. Actually I’m not sure if that’s physically possible because I think my butt was paralyzed too. Anyway, I’ve never seen the old hag but I have experienced the sensation of the pushing down on my chest and the intense panic of paralysis. But what really creeped me out was a recent incident that took place on my couch.

I got home late from work and made the old beeline to the couch, flicked on the t.v. and attempted a little relaxation with the tube. But I guess I zonked out. Or did I? Because as I sat I began to feel a tremendous amount of pressure pushing down on my shoulders. Now this would be impossible because the couch is up against a wall and ultimately I was home alone. As my head was lowered from this unseen force, the room and t.v. looked exactly as they did when I sat down originally, giving the appearance that I was actually still wide awake. It didn’t have that haziness that often gives away a dream. Then panic began to set in with that nasty paralysis. Next came some disturbing whispering that was coming from multiple voices. I struggled to make out what they were saying but they were too faint. Still, the room looked the same. I saw nothing that these voices could be coming from and since I was paralyzed I couldn’t turn around. Somehow, I got the balls to see if I could reach around and feel what was on my back. And for some strange reason I was able to barely move my right arm and reach back behind my neck. I only felt around for a split second and that was enough for me because I instantly snapped out of the paralysis and jolted upright. What I felt was a mouth with very long pointed teeth. Yeah, I know where the hell did that come from. The thing that is so freaky with the sleep paralysis experience is how seamless it feels. It’s as though there is no separation between being awake and asleep.

But what got me going on this rant was the relatively new documentary, Your Worst Nightmare Supernatural Assault from Soul Smack Productions. For those people who have never experienced this but are interested in it, this just might be a good place to start. This flick revolves around interviews with actual victims of sleep paralysis as well as experts in the medical field. And judging by the trailer, it looks like I won’t sleep for a month. Thank god I’ve got my couch.

Official site.